Consent Scripts You Can Actually Say
Real-world consent scripts for beginners—DMs, meet-ups, mid-play check-ins, exits, and aftercare.
Consent isn’t a vibe; it’s clear, enthusiastic, and revocable at any time. These word-for-word lines keep things simple in real situations—DMs, meet-and-greets, clubs, and aftercare.
1) Ground rules (the 60-second version)
- Clarity: say what you want (or don’t), in plain language.
- Mutual: check the other person’s wants, too.
- Specific: consent to one thing doesn’t mean consent to everything.
- Revisable: you can pause or stop—even mid-kiss—without explanation.
- Sober enough to choose: if either person isn’t clear-headed, it’s a no.
Shared line to memorize:
“Consent is a conversation, not a one-time yes. We can pause or stop anytime—no hard feelings.”
2) Scripts for the most common moments
A) Starting the conversation (low pressure)
“I’m curious to meet and see if we click. No expectations. What feels comfortable for you—coffee, a club meet-and-greet, or a video chat first?”
“We’re new and moving slow. Social only the first time—does that work for you?”
B) Sharing what you do want
“Tonight I’m into flirting, dancing, and maybe some kissing. I’m not open to anything sexual.”
“We’re soft-swap only right now. That means making out and touch above clothes; no oral or penetration.”
C) Setting a boundary without apology
“I’m a no for [X] tonight, but I’m happy to [Y].”
“I don’t play without my partner in the room. Thanks for checking.”
D) Checking in during play (keeps it sexy and safe)
“Green/Yellow/Red—where are you right now?”
“Want more of this, or should I slow down/try something else?”
(To your partner) “Touch my hand if you want a pause.”
E) Pausing or stopping (graceful & final)
“Pause—I need a minute.”
“I’m done for tonight. Thanks for being cool about it.”
“No, thank you.” (No reason required.)
F) Aftercare asks (connection > guessing)
“I feel a little floaty—can we cuddle for five and drink water?”
“Words help me land. Can you tell me one thing you enjoyed?”
3) Couple-to-couple scripts
Before you go out
“Our signals: squeeze = pause, double-tap = full stop. We leave together. Condoms/barriers always.”
At the club/party
“We’re having fun talking, and we’re not playing tonight. If that changes we’ll say so clearly.”
Closing a social-only night (no ghosts, no guilt)
“We enjoyed meeting you. We’re keeping tonight social—thanks for the good vibe.”
If one partner cools off
“We’re going to switch to us-time now. Appreciate you both—good night!”
4) Digital consent (DMs, pics, and privacy)
Opening message
“Happy to chat here. We keep things G- to PG-13 until we’ve met.”
When someone asks for pics
“We don’t send intimate photos. Public IG/FB is fine for now.”
Sharing private info
“We only exchange last names/phone after a meet-and-greet that feels good to everyone.”
Screenshots / discretion
“Please don’t screenshot or forward our messages. We won’t share yours either.”
5) Alcohol & substances (say it out loud)
“If either of us feels buzzed beyond clear choices, we switch to social-only.”
“We don’t start new play after midnight—our rule to keep decisions clean.”
6) Group or same-room etiquette
Before touching anyone new
“Is it okay if I put my hand on your back?” (Wait for a clear yes.)
Inviting someone in
“We’re comfy with you joining for kissing above the waist—sound good?”
When you’re unsure
“I’m not getting a clear yes, so I’m going to stop.”
7) Jealousy & wobbles: rescue lines that actually work
Name it + request
“I’m feeling a wobble—can you hold my hand for a minute?”
Reassure without derailing
“I’m with you. Quick reset together and then we decide what’s next.”
Graceful exit
“We’re calling it for tonight. Thank you all—see you again.”
8) The one-page consent plan (fill this in together)
Yes tonight: __________________________
No tonight: ___________________________
Signals: squeeze = pause, double-tap = stop
Condoms/barriers: always • notes: ______
Check-ins: mid-evening 5-minute private chat
Aftercare preference: water + cuddle / words / space
Stop words: “Pause” and “Red” end everything immediately
Put this in your Notes app or print a card. Update each time.
9) Common mistakes (and fixes)
- Vague boundaries. Fix: say what’s in and what’s out in one sentence.
- Asking while touching. Fix: ask before your hands move.
- “But we drove so far.” Fix: sunk cost ≠ consent; end kindly.
- Over-processing mid-party. Fix: short pause + plan to debrief tomorrow.
- Assuming yesterday’s yes = today’s yes. Fix: re-check each time.
10) Quick reference: say these verbatim
- “Social-only tonight.”
- “Above-the-clothes touch is okay.”
- “I’m a no for that, but yes to kissing.”
- “Green/Yellow/Red—where are you?”
- “Pause, please.”
- “Thanks for the invite; we’re done for tonight.”
